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Wed, Jul. 7th, 2004, 11:39 pm
If we really wanted a cure for AIDS we'd infect a few politicians...

When I was in high school, and even fairly recently, I would occasionally come across an apartment or office or even a school building with a sign hung on a fairly inconspicuous wall reading something to the extent of, "CAUTION: ASBESTOS- TRY NOT TO FUCKING BREATHE". It always struck my as funny that something that I'm told is extremely dangerous, such as asbestos would be present in a place as innocent and protected as a school. I would ask myself, "Why don't they do something about that?" Of course, I knew the answer- there wasn't enough cash, and politicians didn't give two shits about helping kids not get cancer.

Today, I saw this article:

"WASHINGTON (AP) — The Senate's cloakrooms and press gallery reopened on Wednesday, a day after they had been closed because asbestos was detected in the adjacent Senate chamber... A piece of the fiber was discovered in the chamber's ventilation system Sunday night as work on an asbestos abatement project was ending..."

So... It's okay to leave asbestos in schools for years at a time (in an earthquake-prone region, mind you), but if traces of asbestos are found in or near where the rich and powerful hang out, we need to drop everything, close up shop, and nip this thing in the bud post-haste. Yeah. No money for schools and kids, but plenty for politicians. Now that's what I call good governance.

I'd like to take this moment to recommend a bold new policy on asbestos. I call it the Politician-Tied-to-a-Chair-Initiative. We tie one politician to a chair inside every asbestos riddled school; the school gets fixed quickly; we stick him in say, an asbestos riddled hospital; wash, rinse, repeat. Buildings get fixed, less kids get exposed to carcinogens, and politicians would finally be able to say that they are doing something for our kids in school. Everybody wins.

We could apply the Politician-Tied-to-a-Chair-Initiative policy to all manner of foreign and domestic problems. Environmental issues? Simply tie a politician to a chair next to a coal-burning plant in Texas; watch how air purity laws coincidentally pass. Too many jobs being out-sourced to China? Well, all you have to do is tie a politician to a chair inside a room filled with big, angry, formerly-union-employed machinists; problem (soon to be) solved. Humanitarian crisis in Sudan? Tie a politician to a chair in Darfur province and just see how quick those militias are put in check. The possibilities are nearly endless!

Thu, Jul. 8th, 2004 05:29 pm (UTC)

You've got my signature.

Fri, Jul. 9th, 2004 06:38 pm (UTC)
rexford: i think the goverment

was trying to keep my drunk as an experiment!